By Analiz González
It was over 90 degrees, but when she climbed out of the family car, her hands were shaking.
She clutched her black purse to steady them and glanced at Phil and Sandy Carlberg for support. She’d anticipated this moment for as far back as she could remember.
Julie Carlberg, now 18, was about to meet her birthmother.
“When Kim opened the door, we cried and hugged each other for like five minutes,” Julie said. “The whole time I was just thanking God for letting this happen.”
Kim was thanking God, too.
When Kimberly Kortegast was 20, she had an unexpected pregnancy. She managed to hide her growing belly throughout her term, but when she went into labor; her parents kicked her out of the house and pressured her into giving the baby up for adoption, she said.
Kortegast looked into several adoption agencies and decided she wanted Julie to grow up in a Christian home, so she chose Buckner Adoption and Maternity Services. When Julie was born, she was taken away before Kortegast saw her, so she didn’t know what Julie looked like until she received pictures from Buckner.
Julie’s adoption was closed, meaning she never met her birth parents. Each year, Buckner reunites about 25 families through its post-adoption services and provides information about families through files. Now, all adoptions arranged by Buckner are open.
“I tried not to think about her and wonder what she was doing all the time,” Kortegast said, adding that she always believed she’d see her again. Not to say she wasn’t nervous when they met for the first time.
Kortegast said she was contacted by Carol Demuth, Buckner domestic adoption counselor, who said Julie was interested in meeting her.
“I was happy,” Kortegast said. “But all sorts of questions ran through my head, like, ‘What if she doesn’t like me?’”
In the pictures she’d received, Julie looked very happy, Kortegast said. “She had a great family and great parents. And that was another thing that concerned me: What if her parents don’t like me?”
Demuth helped the families get in touch with each other and provided them with counseling before the reunion. Kortegast had also taken part in a support group with other birth moms. So she had learned to guard her heart against possible rejection. But meeting the Carlbergs quickly calmed her fears. Everything that happened was positive.
“It couldn’t have been farther from the truth,” she said. “They brought their computers with pictures during spring break and it was so sweet. [The Carlbergs] would do things and say things that were the same because they grew up together. I couldn’t have wanted better parents for Julie than Phil and Sandy.”
Kortegast was able to attend Julie’s high school graduation, where she said she was welcomed by Julie’s family.
“The whole time, it didn’t occur to me what I had done for that family,” she said. “They hugged me and they said, ‘We’re so thankful for you.’ It didn’t occur to me that I could have such an effect on other people.”
The Carlbergs were blessed by their reunion as well, said Sandy, Julie’s adoptive mother. Especially by seeing how it helped Julie.
She said she and her husband Phil never felt threatened when Julie started showing interest in meeting her birth mom.
“When we adopted, we decided why we were doing this,” Sandy said. “We are doing this for the child. If you are doing this for the child and not for yourself, then you have nothing to worry about. Besides, the more people that love a child, the better. I just didn’t want her to face rejection. I think that’d be hard for anyone. Luckily, that wasn’t the case for Julie.”
When Julie got in touch with Kortegast, she learned that she would not only be loved and accepted by her birth mom, but also by her half brother, Ryan, a blue-eyed high school athlete, whom Julie didn’t know existed.
At home with the Carlbergs, Julie was raised with Adam, 16, who was also adopted by Phil and Sandy.
“I had practice (with a brother) so I knew how to act around Ryan,” Julie said.
The first time Julie and Ryan had dinner together, they found out how similar they were.
“They got eggs and both of them scooped the yellow stuff out of it … at the same time,” Kortegast said.
“It’s weird,” Ryan added. “Kinda’ like having a twin, but three years older.”
The siblings have similar hair color and noses. They encourage each other’s athletic triumphs, giving high-fives when they share their success in baseball or tennis. And, as Ryan said half-jokingly, “One day we’re both gonna be stars.”
And Julie learned something else from Kortegast. The day before their first telephone conversation, a package came in the mail.
Kortegast had sent Julie some pictures of herself along with information about their American Indian heritage. Julie had no idea she was part American Indian.
Julie said she paused mid-letter when she found out. “I was like, ‘Dad, I’m part Native American! How cool is that?’”
That night, Julie picked up the phone to hear Kortegast’s voice for the first time.
“I said, ‘Kim, this is Julie,’ and we just started laughing and giggling like little girls,” she said.
After meeting Kortegast, Julie spent time getting to know American Indian culture. She attended an American Indian ceremonial dance with Ryan and with some help from Demuth, who provided Julie’s American Indian verification; she became a member of a tribe. Not only that, she was also granted a renewable American Indian college scholarship for $2,500.
Besides that, Kortegast said it was thanks to their reunion that they were able to diagnose Ryan with narcolepsy. Julie had suffered from narcolepsy and was treated with medication that kept her alert and focused throughout the day while allowing her to sleep well at night.
When Kortegast learned that her daughter was narcoleptic, she decided to have Ryan tested as well. If Kortegast hadn’t learned about Julie, it may have been years before Ryan was treated because the narcolepsy was not very obvious.
Now, the two families are tied together through Julie. Sandy said she and Kortegast talk about once a month. And of course, Julie and Kortegast are in close contact.
“Right after I saw her [that first time] I had cried,” Kortegast admitted. “Even if I hadn’t been with her all those years, I knew I’d still miss her. I thought, ‘OK, I’m never going to see her again.’ But she hasn’t made it that way at all. It’s more than I could have ever imagined.”
Julie and Kortegast send each other messages through MySpace and talk at least once a week.
“I totally believe that this is all God’s plan and everything happens for a reason and everything was meant to be,” Kortegast said. “I was meant to get pregnant and give birth to Julie. It was all supposed to happen.”
The Gift of Two Moms
