Are you happy with your life situation?
Parenting is an exciting but stressful experience. A child may be able to enrich a parent's happiness, but a placement based upon expectation of creating happiness is generally doomed to failure.
Do you think of yourself as a flexible person?
Each child is a product of his/her culture, and the initial adjustment that a child moving from one culture to another must make is tremendous. The more flexible the parent, the easier it is to integrate the child into the family and accept the personality differences inherent in the child.
Are you tolerant of others' differences?
Your child may always be different from the majority. If you have prejudices toward others who are different, you risk inadvertently passing feelings of rejection to your child.
Are you easily frustrated by bureaucratic indifference or incompetence?
International adoption involves two federal governments, two state governments, and at least three agencies. It requires much patience to endure the process when you know you are losing precious time with your child.
Have you traveled out of the country? Are you afraid to travel abroad?
Some programs require that you travel to the country of the child's origin to complete some paperwork and bring the child home. If you are afraid to travel out of the country, you should look at programs where escorting is provided. Traveling to the country of origin, however, can be an enriching experience and can tell much about the early life of your child.
Do you tend to be an adventuresome, high-risk person?
Usually very little background information is known on a child from overseas. Adopting a child from another country in many respects is like a prearranged marriage. You learn about liking each other after the commitment is made.
Can you make a commitment and stick with it when the going gets tough?
Parenting any child has its tough periods. When these occur, commitment is often the only thing that carries you through.
Can you love a person who cannot love you back easily?
Children who have experienced significant loss often have a difficult time developing trust, and trust is an essential part of sharing intimately. It is your commitment and willingness to share that helps the child overcome mistrust. Some children never completely master this task.
Can you imagine any reason why a parent would abandon a child?
There are many reasons why parents abandon their children. Your child's self-esteem rests on your ability to help the child deal with the issues of the past in a realistic and appropriate way.
Do you believe that you can fully Americanize your child and his/her cultural roots will become unimportant?
Your child will feel American on the inside but may look or sound international on the outside. By developing cultural pride, he/she is better equipped to deal with this reality.
